【已领】HowtoNegotiatewithaLiar

　　标题：HowtoNegotiatewithaLiarProtectyourselfbyfocusingonwhatyoucancontrol。
　　source：psychologytoday丨DaleHartleyPh。D，MBA
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　　Everyonenegotiates，butfewhavebeentrainedintheartandpracticeofnegotiation。LyingduringnegotiationsisamanipulativetacticpracticedbyHighMachsandLowMachsalike。Ifyoureadbooks，articles，andblogsonnegotiation，you’llencountermuchgoodadvicealongwithawealthofcontradictoryinformationandmisinformedopinion。Amongtheworstadviceisthatwrittenbyquestionablyqualifiedpeoplepassingthemselvesoffasexperts。
　　Muchofthisfauxwisdomfocusesonhowtospotliarsatthebargaining。Studyafterstudyhasshownthat，regardlessofthetechniquesused，ourabilitytospotliarsbylookingfor“tells”isonlyslightlybetterthanchance。Therearetwosurefirewaystospotaliar：Eitherknowtheanswerbeforeyouposethequestionorgetlucky。
　　Forexample，aliarmayunconsciouslynodyeswhilesayingno（orviceversa）。Heorshemayplaceanobject，suchasawaterbottle，onthebetweenhimherselfandyou。Thesetellscansignallyingortheycansignifynothing。Bothtruthfulanduntruthfulpeoplecancommitthesenervousacts，whileapracticedliarmaynotsignaldeceptioninawayyoucannotice。Onlyifsomeonepersistsinemittingtellscanyouconcludewithhighprobabilitythatheorsheislying。Ifyoufocusonspottingtellsduringnegotiations，youwillbedistractedfromthebusinessathand。Effectivenegotiationrequiresthatyoufocusonwhatyoucancontrol，notwhatyoucan’t。
　　Whenyounegotiatewithsomeonewhowantstomaintainanongoingrelationshipwithyou（andviceversa），bothsideshaveanincentivetobuildandmaintaintrust。Eachpartyknowsthatlies，ifdetected，willjeopardizetherelationship。Ontheotherhand，aonetimenegotiationdoesnotcarrythisbuiltindisincentiveagainstdeception。Neitherdoesazerosumnegotiation，whereeverydollargainedbyonesiderepresentsanetlosstotheother。Ausedcarpurchase，forexample，maybeaonetimenegotiationandazerosumnegotiation。Innegotiationsweshouldexpecttoencounterliesandprepareaccordingly。Iftheothersidedoesn’tlie，that’sgreat。Iftheydo，youcanprotectyourself。
　　ForewarnedisforearmedPeopleassumethatnegotiationbeginswhenyouinitiatediscussionswithyourcounterparty。That’samistake。Abetterstrategyistobeginyournegotiationwithresearchandplanningbeforeyoustarttobargain。Themoreyouknowbeforehand，thebetterpreparedyouwillbetoferretoutliarsbyaskingquestionswhoseanswersyoualreadyknow。Whatistheirreputation？What’simportanttotheminthisnegotiation？Whatistheirbargainingrange？Areyounegotiatingonalevelplayingfield，ordoesoneofyouhavemoreleveragethantheother？
　　SetyourprioritiesSetyourbargainingrangebeforeyoubegin。Specifically，decideonyourminimum（ifyouaretheseller），yourmaximum（ifyouarethebuyer），andyourtargetprice（whatyouthinkisfair）。Alsohaveinmindyourbestalternativetoanegotiatedagreement（BATNA）incasenegotiationsfail。Thisisyourbackupplanincaseyouandyourcounterpartycan’treachanagreement。Ifyou’retryingtobuyahome，yourBATNAmightbetomoveontoanotherpropertyandmaybeevenanotherrealestateagent。Aboveall，focusonthebusinessathandmovingforward，stepbystep，inyournegotiationsnotonreachinganagreement。Betternoagreementatallthanonethatdoesn’tsatisfyyourobjectives。
　　FocusonwhatyoucancontrolYoucan’tcontrolwhethertheotherpersonislying，oranythingelseabouttheirbehaviorduringthenegotiation。Youcancontrolyourownbehavioranddecisions。Ifyoudon’ttrustyourcounterparty，reconsiderwhetheryoushoulddobusinesswiththem。Agoodstrategyistoannounceupfrontthatyouarepreparedtoputallofyourverbalcommitmentsinwritingandwouldlikethesamecommitmentfromtheotherside。Iftheybalk，youwalk。Makingthisarequirementattheoutsetwillputtheothersideonnoticethatyouwon’ttolerateworthlesspromises。
　　FramesandAnchorsWouldyouratherhaveasofamadeofluxuriousbondedleatheroronemadeofleftoverleatherscraps？Theyarethesamething。Theframingofanideacaninfluencetheoutcomeofanegotiation。OnceIwasfillingoutaformatacardealershipthatincludedthisquestion：“Whatwillyoudoifyoudonotpurchaseacartoday？”Ianswered，“WhatwillYOUdoifIdonotpurchaseonetoday？”Innegotiations，youmustbepreparedtoframetheissuesinwaysthataresignificanttoyourcounterpartyandtobewaryofframingploystheothersidemaydirecttowardyou。That’swhyit’simportanttounderstandtheirneedsandtohavesomeideaoftheirbargainingrange。
　　Conventionalwisdomsaysthatthefirstpersontomentionanumberinnegotiationsisatadisadvantage。Researchsuggeststhatthisiswrong。Thefirstnumbermentionedservesasananchor，sothatthefinalnegotiatedpriceseemslikeagooddealincomparison。That’swhynewcarshavestickerprices，realestatehaslistingprices，andsomeproductshaveamanufacturer’ssuggestedretailprice。Thosearefictitiousprices。Theonlyrelevantpricesarethefairmarketvalueandtheactualsalesprice（whichmaybethesameordifferent）。Ifthefinalsalespriceisnegotiable，thentheaskingpriceisonlyananchor。
　　QuidProQuoWhenonesidehasgreaterknowledgeorleveragethantheother，thenegotiatorwithmorepowermayattempttobamboozletheothersideintomakingaconcessionwithoutexpectinganythinginreturn。Carsalespeopledothis。Afterthethirdtripto“checkwiththesalesmanager”theymaysay，“Wecangetthisdone，butweneedalittlehelp。Another600。00andyoucandriveithometoday。”Ingratiation，guilt，deception，andtheimpliedthreatof“nodeal”arealltacticsonemayencounterinnegotiationsofthistype。Agoodresponsetothisployistoannouncethatyou’renotinapositiontomakeanyconcessionswithoutreceivingareasonableconcessioninreturn。Youmight，forexample，counterwithanoffertopay500。00more（not600。00），butonlyifyougetfreeoilchangesforthefirstyearandasetoffloormatsandthennegotiatefromthere。
　　Onefinaltacticyoucanusewhendealingwithactualorpotentialliarsistoask，beforefinalizingthedeal，whetherthereisanyimportantinformationyourcounterpartyhasnotdisclosed。Ideallyyoushouldgetthisinwritingorhaveanunbiasedpersonasawitness。Ifneitherofthoseispossible，writedownyourquestionandtheansweryoureceived。Dothisimmediatelyafterthenegotiation，thensignanddateit。Mailittoyourself，andkeeptheunopenedletterasevidenceincaseyoulaterdiscoverfindthatyouweredeceived。Itmaybejusttheevidenceyouneedincaseoffraud。