【已领】ThePurrPrinciple：HowWeCanB

　　标题：ThePurrPrinciple：HowWeCanBuildGreatRelationships
　　source：forbes丨BrettSteenbarger
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　　Dr。JudyKringshaswrittenonaninterestingtopic：relationshipresilience。Wenormallythinkofresilienceasanindividualfunction，reflectingaperson’sabilitytoweatheradversityandevenbenefitfromit。Greatrelationshipsareresilient，aswell。Theynotonlysurvivelife’supsanddowns，butactuallythrive，maintainingloyaltyandlovethroughout。
　　Whetherit’sinthebusinessworldortherealmofromance，sustainingpositiverelationshipsisessentialtosuccess。TamaraGSeligman’sworksuggeststhatrelationshipsareoneoffivedimensionsconnectedtoemotionalwellbeing。Buthowcanwebuildbetterrelationships，makingfriendshipandromancetrulyresilient？
　　ResilienceStartsWithSolutions
　　Acoretenetofthesolutionfocusedapproachtopsychologyisthatwecanmakesurprisinglyrapidandmeaningfulchangessimplybydoingmoreofwhatisalreadyworkinginourlives。Ptheydefinethegoalofthehelpingrelationshipasremovinganegativestateofaffairs。Thesolutionfocusedtherapistlooksforoccasionswhentheproblemisnotoccurring。Veryoften，thoseexceptionoccasionsaretimeswhen，unwittingly，wearedoingsomethingveryright。
　　Soifthequestionisbuildingbetterrelationships，wecouldapproachtheissuefromaproblemmindsetandaskaboutthebehaviorsthatderailrelationshipsandsimplyavoidengaginginthose。Amoment’sthought，however，suggeststhatstrong，resilientrelationshipsarenotmerelyonesthatavoidpettyargumentsandpoorcommunication。It’sthepresenceofpositiveelements，notmerelytheabsenceofnegativeones，thatdefinesagreatbusinessorlifepartnership。AsMarcusBuckinghamexplains，shoringupweaknessescannot，initself，alignourselveswithourstrengthsandactuallystrengthenthem。
　　Fromasolutionfocusedperspective，welearnaboutsuccessfulrelationshipsbyreverseengineeringourmostsuccessfulmomentsofrelating。Whatarewedoingwhenwefeelmostconnected，mostinlove，mostinsyncwithanother？Whenwedomoreofwhatworks，wedon’teliminateallourweaknesseswesimplyensurealevelofresiliencethatallowsustoweatherthoseshortcomings。