宝宝内心脆弱易崩溃软硬不吃发脾气博士教你来应对

　　大咖问答室第七期来啦！本期的5个育儿问题将由哈佛早教泰斗迈克尔.麦耶霍夫博士亲自解答，帮助宝妈宝爸们更好滴应对这些难题~
　　迈克尔.麦耶霍夫（Michael K. Meyerhoff）
　　哈佛大学人类发展学博士，著名的Harvard PreschoolProject （哈佛早期教育项目）主要成员，为悦宝园首席顾问。麦耶霍夫博士发表过多部学术著作，其专业观点被《时代周刊》、《纽约时报》、《华尔街日报》等著名期刊广泛引用。麦耶霍夫博士在早教领域已拥有近五十年的研究经验，其研究成果为全球早期教育的研究奠定了基石。
　　问题1
　　男宝四个月了，胆子特别小，旁边有人大声说话都会被吓哭，这种情况要如何改变呢？
　　Michael K. Meyerhoff: Your son is not cowardly but simply sensitive. And this is perfectly normal. Although his senses are functioning since birth, they will remain sensitive for much of the first year. That is why it is a good idea to keep things that relate to touch, sight, and sound soft and gentle in the beginning.
　　麦耶霍夫博士：你的孩子其实并非胆小，他只是比较敏感。这种情况相当普遍。虽然孩子从出生就开始有感觉，但在他们出生后的第一年里对很多事物尤为敏感。这也就是为何在此时，最好让孩子所触、所听、所看的都是柔软温和的。
　　问题2
　　我家男宝2岁半了，一不如意就发脾气，发脾气就坐地上或者趴到地上，无论是给他讲道理、哄他还是打他他都不起来，总之是软硬不吃，真是拿他一点办法都没有，这应该怎么办呢？
　　Michael K. Meyerhoff:At this age, children are psychologically compelled to test the limits of their newly discovered personal power. While it is important to let them know that they are respected, it also is important to let them know they are not the boss. So whenever you can, offer him appropriate choices instead of issuing direct instructions or requests. However, if he does not cooperate or if he defies you, let him sit or lie down as long as he wants but do not allow him to have his way. This may be difficult and unpleasant, but eventually he will learn that his stubborn behavior will not get him what he wants.
　　麦耶霍夫博士：在这个年纪，出于心理方面的原因，孩子会去测试新发现的个人能力的极限。这时，父母要让孩子知道，他是被尊重的，但同时也要告诉他，他并非事情的主导。所以，你最好尽量给他们提供一些合理的选择而非直截了当地下达指示或提出要求。如果他不配合你甚至蔑视你，就随他坐在地上或是就地打滚，但绝对不能让他任性胡来。这样做或许很困难，你们之间也会有诸多不快，但最终孩子会知道，倔脾气不可能让他有求必应。
　　问题3
　　女儿两岁了，自1岁半左右开始，经常在家人和她一起玩，觉得她好笑而发出笑声，或是大人明确拒绝她要求时，她就会扁扁嘴哭起来。有人说这是自尊心很强的表现，不允许别人笑她或是拒绝她，请问这种说法对吗？我们应该在日常生活中如何应对？
　　Michael K. Meyerhoff:It is not that her self-esteem is strong. On the contrary, it is delicate. At this age, children have first developed a clear sense of self. Consequently, they may experience intense negative emotions when they feel they are not respected. While you should never give in to requests that are inappropriate, you should try to help strengthen her self-esteem by praising her lavishly when she behaves properly. And you should advise family members that for the next few months they should avoid making fun of her or otherwise making her feel bad about herself.
　　麦耶霍夫博士：并非她的自尊心太强，恰恰相反是，她的内心其实很脆弱。这个年纪的孩子开始有了清晰的自我感知。因此，在感到自己不被尊重时，他们会有一些激烈的、消极的情绪。但是千万不要害怕告诉她这是不对的，你应该试着在她表现好的时候大力嘉奖，加强她的自尊心。同时，你也需告诉家人们，在接下来的几个月里，他们要尽量避免取笑她，因为这会让她觉得自己很差劲。
　　问题4
　　女宝六个月了，平时不爱笑，只有睡醒了或是玩的开心才会笑笑，但是也从来没有大笑笑出声过。平时对人感觉也挺冷漠，跟爸爸妈妈也不太亲，这种情况该如何调整？
　　Michael K. Meyerhoff: Relax and be patient. It takes babies a long time to adjust to the world. Keep giving her plenty of love and affection, and keep playing happily with her as much as you can. As the months go by, you will see her smiling more, starting to laugh, and returning the love and affection you are giving her.
　　麦耶霍夫博士： 不要紧张，要有耐心。宝宝需要花很久才能适应这个世界。你可以多给她爱和欢乐，用你的情绪感染她，并且尽可能多与她一起快乐玩耍。几个月之后，你会发现她变得更快乐了，更爱笑了，甚至开始将曾经你给她的爱和欢乐也传递给你。
　　问题5
　　男宝两岁半。在他一岁半的时候，我经常带着孩子一起读绘本。现在孩子大了有自己的想法就不愿意和我一起读了。但是孩子很偏爱运动类的，我想让他看的种类更丰富些，如何引导孩子读一些我为他选的书呢？
　　Michael K. Meyerhoff: Literacy is extremely important so you want to make sure that reading books is always a pleasant experience and not a dreadful chore. Also, at this age, your child is developing a strong sense of independence so it is wise to let him do what interests and excites him as much as is possible and appropriate. You can offer him a variety of books, but let him choose which ones will be read. As he grows, his interests will expand, and you will eventually see him selecting books beyond those that are just sports related.
　　麦耶霍夫博士：读写能力至关重要，所以你想要尽力让孩子感受到阅读的愉悦，而不是将其看做烦闷的任务。两岁半的宝宝正在形成很强的独立意识，所以要恰如其分地让他尽可能多地做他感兴趣的、让他兴奋的事情。你可以给他提供许多不同种类的书，但要让他自己选择读哪一本。等他慢慢长大了，兴趣会拓展，那时你就会发现他开始选运动之外的读物了。爸爸妈妈有什么育儿难题，都可以给我们留言哦~
　　家有0~8岁宝宝的爸比妈咪们，你在教育方面遇到了什么问题？存在哪些育儿困惑？都欢迎留言给我们， 纽曼教授和麦耶霍夫博士会帮助大家解决各类教育难题~
　　问题内容：宝宝年龄+性别+遇到的问题（描述的越具体，得到的答案越详尽），答案每月都会发文公布~大家不要错过和知名教育大咖交流的机会，说不定你的问题就能被选中呢~抓紧时间快来提问吧！