hewasntaguyofbigwords,andheseemedtoliveentirelyinhisownworld。irememberthatduringthedaysheworkedwithusnoneofusexactlyknewwhohewas,wherehecamefromorwhathewaslookingfor,andafterwardshedisappeared。nobodyknewwherehehadgone,whathewasdoingorifhehadfriendsorafamilytostaywith。iguess,wedidntevenknowhisnameandevenifwedid,iveforgottenitanyway。 thosedaysweremorethanhardforallofus。thereseemedtobenoescapefromthegreynessofoureverydaylifewhichwastheonlycolourthatsurroundedus。thehugeconcreteblockswelivedinwasgrey,thegreyofthefactorydust,eventhecolourofourclothes,thatoncemighthavebeenwhitewasgrey。itmusthavebeenabrightandshiningwhite。。。andicantexactlyrecallhowmuchtimeispenttryingtoimaginethekindofwhiteitmighthavebeen。sincewhitewasthecolourofthekindofparadiseisomuchlongedtoliveinsomeday,greyleftbehindnothingmorethanabittertasteofemptinessanddepression。icanrememberhowinoticedonce,thatanyothercolourmustbeasymbolforsomething,afeelingorwhatever。onlygreyseemedtostandforabsolutelynothing。thiswastheworldilivedin,andsodidhe。 havingourjobinthefactorywasstillluxurythough,consideringthefactthatmostofushadfamiliestofeed。andnotlongafterhestartedtoworkthere,iwouldalwaysfindhimworkingatthemachinenexttomine。wedworkforhoursnexttoeachother,stayingquiet,withourthoughtsdriftingawaytoadifferentplacebutstillawareofourhandsdoingthesamemovementsoverandoveragain。weweredoingthatuntilthebellwouldringtoendtheworkfortheday。iusedtoworkinamechanicalway,followingthesamerhythmoverandoveragain,andsodidhe。buteverytimeiwasabouttogiveup,hewouldlifthisheadandgivemealittlesmile,asifhecouldguessmythoughts。ithinkitwasactuallyhiseyesthatimpressedmemost。theyweresodarkandstraight,andthoughtheyseemtobehidinganything,icouldntgetridoftheimpressionthatsomehowhemustbehidingsomething。 sinceifirstsawhim,hehadalwaysbeenaround,andeverytimehegavemeoneofthosesmiles,hewouldspreadabitofwarmthintomyheart,abitoffriendliness。iguess,attheendofthedayitmusthavebeenhimwhogavemethestrengthtogoonsomehow,justbybeingthere。 well,tomakealongstoryshort,hediedonlyayearafterhestartedworkingwithus。itwasacaraccidentandhedidnthavetosufferverylong。imusthavebeenhisonlyfriendintown,atleastthatwaswhatithoughtwheniwenttohisfuneral。theonlypersonimettherewasanoldlady,maybehismother。shetoldmethathehadlosthisfamilyjusttheyearbeforeandafterthathedidntspeakanymore。hehadntsaidasingleword。firstididntbelieveher。ijustthoughtthathewasafairlyquietperson;besidestherewasnothingmuchtosayanyway。butsuddenlyirealizedthaticouldntrecalleverhavingheardhisvoiceatall。onlythendidirealizeit!。 hegavemesomuchandiknewsolittleabouthim。hehadbeenmyfriendandnowihadlosthimwithouthavinghadthechancetogiveanythingback。hehadbeensostrongthathewasabletogivewhateverhadhappened。 ifeltweakinthosedays。andguilty。butafterthatistartedtocareforthepeoplearoundme。ithinkistartedtolive。