我的光头英文日记

　　June 2nd
　　Seeing so many baldies (American slang for bald person) in school, I was very tempted to shave my head too. Ever since I was a baby, the only time I was bald was when I was one month old.
　　Just entering into university, be cool even if it is only once seems wonderful. I made up my mind and walked into the barbershop. Inside, there were a few people waiting. The barber asked: ＂You have such short hair, do you want a crew cut?＂
　　I said: ＂No, shave my head.＂
　　The barber laughed and told the rest of the people to wait. ＂Let him go first, it’ll only take five minutes.＂
　　Ten minutes later, I walked out of the barbershop, feeling free.
　　Touching my head, felt a bit pricky. Felt like a monk. Who knows, maybe my last incarnation was a monk.
　　Returning to dormitory, my dorm mates were astonished. After laughing aloud for a while, all of them couldn’t resist themselves to come up for a touch.
　　＂Um, feels nice!＂
　　＂Go! Go! Go! Is my head a mop? Next time someone touches my head again, I’ll be pissed. ＂
　　June 5th, sunny and feeling awful
　　When I surfed the net today, I couldn’t help it and told my classmate in another city. Incredibly, he returned the message with a joke:
　　＂A girl was taking a shower. Her parrot yelled: ‘I saw it, I saw it!’ The girl got upset and scolded the parrot: ‘Next time you shout, I’ll pull off all your feathers!’
　　The next day, a baldie came and visited the girl. The parrot flew to the guest’s shoulder and asked: ‘Hey, you saw it too?’＂
　　After the story, my friend kept on asking me: ＂You, did you do something bad?＂
　　I almost fainted in anger…
　　June 10th, sunny and bored
　　In the past few days, life has been extremely boring…
　　This afternoon, I didn’t attend one of my classes. It is normal that some people will not show up for one or more of their classes. This wasn’t the first time for me either. After half a period however, the teacher glanced around and said: ＂Someone is missing. Not everybody is here.＂
　　Everyone below yelled: ＂Everybody is here. No one is missing.＂ The teacher said slowly: ＂Where’s the baldie? I remember there is a baldie in this class, he hasn’t come today?＂
　　When my classmate told me about this, my heart cringed. Looks like I won’t be able to skip classes anymore…
　　555555…
　　June 11th, please don’t be sunny anymore
　　Due to yesterday’s event, I attended all of my six classes. Now, new problems arose. Whenever I dozed off, teacher’s ＂caring＂ glance would always float by and reach me.
　　＂That bald head student, are you done sleeping?＂
　　My only choice was to lift my eyes and look at him.
　　Most of the teachers outside our department often don’t recognize us. When calling rolls, they have to look at the attendance sheet. Like winning prizes, whoever is being called upon, whoever got tough luck. Now, everything is just dandy. The teacher doesn’t bother looking at the attendance sheet anymore. Whenever there’s a question, the bald student please…
　　Life is awful.
　　June 18th, please rain
　　Finally I convinced two of my classmates to shave their heads too. Now, we have three baldies in our class. My nightmare is now reduced by two thirds.
　　I am very grateful to them. Thinking of them as confidants. In today’s English class, I decided to sit with them. Baldie against baldie, light brighten half of the sky, also brighten teacher’s eyes.
　　We were carelessly listening when the English teacher said: ＂The second bald student from the 2nd roll, please get up.＂
　　I looked to the left then looked to the right, certain of my own geographic location and stood up unwillingly.
　　＂Please tell me how to say 1:58 in English?＂ The teacher smiled, didn’t know why though.
　　Easy! I blurted out: ＂Two to two.＂
　　Then, everyone in class started laughing! God, duped!
　　My fellow students, please remember my blood-earn lesson, never shave your head!