THEFINALDAY

　　THE FINAL DAY
　　It was THE FINAL DAY that I got to spend time with my friends; because tomorrow I would have to move where my aunt lived. My friends were very sad, and I myself was also too. We huddled there for a long time, until our parents called us home. The next day we woke up early and packed everything up; then we took the train and started out for my aunt’s home. That day was so very hot, and we had to climb a mountain before we arrive. Actually, I got to say that that was quite amazing.
　　Not to mention hat during the climbing, I heard something that had shocked me very much. Which also meant that I didn’t get to care as much as I was supposed to; and it also gave me a very good idea that depends on my braveness, actually not that idea sort of.
　　Here is how the story went on: When we arrived at the station, I got off and said that I had missed my friends very, very much; but my mother said that I could see them in the future.
　　I was very angry about hose words, and ran off as quickly as I could; but my dad caught me since that he was in the first. I was very angry about that; my dad said that we were going to climb a mountain.
　　When we arrived, dad showed me the map, and that we were going to have a climbing race. My dad won of course, and I was the last. I was very sad; but my mom said that was matter. Then I said, “Because first I got to lose my friends; then I became angry because you said that I could see them in the future; then everything went wrong.” “Like what?” asked my mom and dad together, “Like losing the climbing game;” “So, it was just for fun like playing video games in the house. Or trying to blow up your body in the lab, and besides tomorrow you can see your friends again; we are only staying here for one whole night,” at these words I was very astonished; even surprised of my wits.
　　That was when the next morning, I went back, and could play with my friends once more. It was a very funny story since it was a real one, and I thought that we were going move there. My friends questioned me about it, and yes I only had one answer, I was playing with you and didn’t listen carefully.
　　修改后
　　It was THE FINAL DAY that I got to spend time with my friends; because tomorrow I would have to move  to the place  where my aunt lived. My friends were very sad, and I myself was also  sad . We  hugged  there for a long time, until our parents called us home. The next day we woke up early and packed everything up; then we took the train and started out for my aunt’s home. That day was so very hot, and we had to climb a mountain before we arrive. Actually, I got to say  that  was quite amazing.
　　Not to mention  that  during the climbing, I heard something that had shocked me very much. Which also meant that I didn’t get to care as much as I was supposed to; and it also gave me a very good idea that depends on my braveness, actually not that idea sort of.
　　Here is how the story went on: When we arrived at the station, I got off and said that I had missed my friends very, very much; but my mother said that I could see them in the future.
　　I was very angry about  those  words and ran off as quickly as I could; but my dad caught me since that he was in the first. I was very angry about that; my dad said that we were going to climb a mountain.
　　When we arrived, dad showed me the map and that we were going to have a climbing race. My dad won of course, and I was the last. I was very sad; but my mom said that  it didn ’t matter. Then I said, “Because first I got to lose my friends; then I became angry because you said that I could see them in the future; then everything went wrong.” “Like what?” asked my mom and dad together, “Like losing the climbing game;” “So, it was just for fun like playing video games in the house. Or trying to blow up your body in the lab, and besides tomorrow you can see your friends again; we are only staying here for one whole night,” at these words I was very astonished; even surprised of my wits.
　　The next morning , I went back and could play with my friends once more. It was a very funny story since it was a real one, and I thought that we were going move there. My friends questioned me about it, and yes I only had one answer, I was playing with you and didn’t listen carefully.
　　四年级:欧阳雨鹭