婚姻与家庭

　　上次在《七夕节？恋爱？》里讲到了爱情前两个要素，亲密与激情，爱情三要素的最后一个为＂承诺＂，承诺包括短期承诺与长期承诺，小承诺与大承诺，如面临国庆放假，ta提前计划你们一起去哪儿玩耍，毕业选择一起就业还是一起考研等，这些都是承诺，而我认为，婚姻是承诺里最重要也是最重大的一项。建立在三元素上的爱情可以称之为＂完美爱情＂，那么，建立在爱情上的婚姻可以称得上是＂完美婚姻＂。钱钟书先生的《围城》里说，婚姻就像围城，围城外的人想进去，而围城内的人想要逃出去，这一定程度上可以理解为，婚姻既象征着美好爱情的升华，具有美好与令无数情侣向往的属性，也象征着一些约束、结束与新的开始，具有不那么美好的一面。在学术上婚姻被解释为一种男女相互结合的社会形式，是一种夫妻间的牵涉，它是一份爱情的合同书，规定着夫妻双方的权利与义务。
　　结婚典礼上，神父对新郎/新娘的提问如下：
　　＂新郎/新娘，你愿意以后谨遵结婚誓词无论贫穷还是富有、疾病或健康、美貌或失色、顺利或失意，都愿意爱她/他、安慰她/他、尊敬她/他、保护她/他，并愿意在你们一生之中对她/他永远忠心不变？＂
　　从结婚誓词中我们可以窥见，婚姻要求婚姻的主体共同面临之后可能出现的困难与风险，持续为爱付出保持忠诚，这表示了每一段婚姻希望爱情至死不渝的浪漫与初衷。
　　家庭以婚姻为基础，是两个人携手共同经营的爱的港湾，家庭是需要创造的，创造家庭的过程即一起生活携手相伴走向余生的过程。在构建家庭的过程中，男女双方都需要完成心态、身份的巨大转变，柴米油盐酱醋茶成为我们需要思考的问题，女生需要完成从女孩到母亲的转变，男生需要完成从男孩到父亲的转变。接憧而来的工作压力、社会压力、经济压力等系列问题出现，磕磕碰碰、坎坎坷坷、爱情接受着来自各方面的挑战。于是有人会问，爱情真的会一直存在吗？我的回答是，爱可能在这些琐事曲折中被慢慢消磨 ，但亦会重生，一起经历过事情后的夫妻，可能才会真正感慨到自己与伴侣的深厚感情。我们可能不会爱一个人很久很久，但我们会反反复复、一遍又一遍地爱上一个人，致使我们在婚姻的围城里坚持下去，在家庭矛盾危机中继续下去的除去爱本身以外，还有我们心里的责任与担当。
　　人们常说，婚姻是比恋爱更深的学问，＂合适＂比＂喜欢＂更重要，除去对婚姻主体的价值观、人生观、性格方面的考量以外，我认为，从恋爱到婚姻到构建家庭，伴随着每一个人的成长，与其寻找所谓的完全合适的结婚对象与完美的伴侣，不如真正静下心来学会如何包容、理解、尊重、交流与沟通。＂合适＂是一种避免婚姻家庭里冲突与矛盾的捷径，但互相爱着与互相理解包容并一起努力改变进步不失为一种美好的途径。
　　Last time in the ＂Chinese Valentine＂s Day?＂ in love? ＂It talks about the first two elements of love, intimacy and passion, and the last of the three elements of love is ＂promise＂. Promises include short-term and long-term promises, small and big promises. If you face the National Day holiday, you plan to go together in advance. Where to play, choose to work together after graduation or take a postgraduate entrance examination together, etc., these are all promises, and I think marriage is the most important and most important item in the promise. Love based on the three elements can be called ＂perfect love＂, so marriage based on love can be called ＂perfect marriage＂. Mr. Qian Zhongshu’s ＂Besieged City＂ said that marriage is like a besieged city. People outside the besieged city want to go in and people inside the besieged city want to escape. To a certain extent, it can be understood that marriage symbolizes the sublimation of beautiful love. , Has the attributes that are beautiful and that countless couples yearn for. It also symbolizes some constraints, endings and new beginnings, and has a less beautiful side. In academic terms, marriage is interpreted as a social form in which men and women combine with each other. It is a kind of involvement between husband and wife. It is a love contract that stipulates the rights and obligations of both husband and wife.
　　At the wedding ceremony, the priest asked the bride and groom as follows:
　　＂Groom/bride, you are willing to follow the marriage vows in the future, regardless of poverty or wealth, illness or health, beauty or loss of color, success or frustration, you are willing to love her/him, comfort her/him, respect her/him, and protect her/him And are willing to be loyal to her/him forever in your life?＂
　　From the marriage vows, we can see that marriage requires the subjects of the marriage to face the difficulties and risks that may arise in the future, and to continue to pay for love to maintain loyalty, which expresses the romance and original intention of every marriage to hope that love will last until death.
　　Family is based on marriage. It is a harbor of love where two people work hand in hand. Family needs to be created. The process of creating a family is the process of living together and walking hand in hand to the rest of life. In the process of building a family, both men and women need to complete a huge change in mentality and identity. Chai, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea has become a problem that we need to think about. Girls need to complete the transition from girl to mother, and boys need to complete the transition from boy to father. A series of problems such as work pressure, social pressure, economic pressure and so on appeared, bumps, bumps, bumps, and love accepting challenges from all aspects. So someone will ask, will love really exist forever? My answer is that love may be slowly worn away in these trivial twists and turns, but it will also be reborn. It is possible that the couples who have experienced the things together may truly feel the deep feelings between themselves and their partners. We may not love a person for a long, long time, but we will fall in love with a person over and over again, causing us to persevere in the siege of marriage and continue in the crisis of family conflicts. Apart from love itself, we also We have the responsibility and responsibility in our hearts.
　　People often say that marriage is a deeper knowledge than love. ＂Appropriateness＂ is more important than ＂like.＂ Apart from the considerations of the values, outlook on life, and personality of the subject of marriage, I think that from love to marriage to building a family, As everyone grows up, instead of looking for the so-called perfect marriage partner and perfect partner, it is better to calm down and learn how to tolerate, understand, respect, communicate and communicate. ＂Appropriate＂ is a shortcut to avoid conflicts and contradictions in marriage and family, but loving each other, understanding and tolerance, and working together to change and progress is a beautiful way.
　　——源自Google翻译
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　　参考资料：Google翻译
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