已领5WarningSignsofManipulationi

　　标题：5WarningSignsofManipulationinRelationships
　　source：psychcentral丨EdenS
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　　Thescarythingis：Youprobablydon’tevenknowit’shappening。
　　Theworstpartofbeingmanipulatedinarelationshipisthatquiteoftenyoudon’tevenknowit’shappening。Manipulativepeopletwistyourthoughts，actions，wantsanddesiresintosomethingthatbettersuitshowtheyseetheworldandtheymoldyouintosomeonethatservestheirownpurposes。Scary，right？
　　Hereareafewbiggiestolookoutfortomakesureit’snothappeningtoyou：
　　7WaysToKeepTheirPassiveAggressionFromDrivingYouNuts
　　1。Hemakesyoufeelguiltyforeverything。
　　Manipulationalwaysstartwithguilt。Ifhecanconvinceyoutofeelguiltyforyouractions（evenwhenyou’vedonenothingwrong），thenheknowsyou’llbemorewillingtodowhathesays。“Imeansure，IguessdinnerwasOK。Itwasn’twhatIwashopingforandIwouldhaveratherdonesomethingdifferentbutIguessaslongasyou’rehappy，that’sallthatmatters。Iloveyouandit’simportanttomethatyouarehappy，evenifthatmeanssettingasidewhatIwant。”
　　CheckoutYourTangoforrelationshipadvice
　　Seewhathedidthere？Howheturnedthataroundyou？Onthesurface，hemakesitseemlikehe’salovingboyfriendbutspoileralert：guiltisnotlove。
　　Manipulatorsalsotryandmakeyoubelievethatthey’redoingabetterjobof“lovingyou，”sothatyou’llbemorewillingtosetasidewhatyouwantinordertofeellikeyou“lovehimjustasmuch。”It’sasickmindgame。
　　2。Heforceshisinsecuritiesonyou。
　　Manipulatorswilloftenforcetheirowninsecuritiesonyouinanefforttocontrolhowyoureacttowardshim。“I’vebeencheatedonbeforeandthat’swhyIdon’twantyoutohaveanymalefriends。Youcanunderstandthat，right？”Yes，ofcourseyoucanunderstandthat（andyoushouldbeconsciousofhisinsecurities），buthisstrugglesshouldnotdefinethefunctionalityofyourrelationship。
　　“I’msorryIactedthatwaybutI’mjustsoscaredthatyouwillleaveme！”isanexcusethat’softenusedbymanipulatorswhenyoupointoutflawsinhisactions。Thesheerpurposeofthatexcuseistotakethefocusoffofyourworriesandsuckyoubackintothis。
　　There’safinelinebetweenshowingconsiderationforhisfeelingsandbeingmanipulatedintofeelingwhathewantsyoutofeel。Considerationisshownwithlovewhilemanipulationisruledbyguilt。
　　3。Hemakesyoudoubtyourself。
　　Wanttoknowwhyit’ssoeasyforhimtobemanipulated？Becausehe’smindfkedyoutothepointwhereyounolongertrustyourself。That’sright，manipulatorstakeyourinsecuritiesandusethemagainstyou。Theyconsistentlypointoutwhatyou’redoing“wrong”andhowtheycouldhavedoneitbetter。Theypointoutyourweaknesses，thenshowyouthatwiththeirhelp，youcandobetter，bebetter。Theyslowlyconvinceyoutheyhaveyourbestinterestsinmindbuttheydon’t。
　　Theyhavetheirbestinterestsinmind。Andinordertokeeptheirwantsandneedsattheforefrontofyourrelationship，theygentlytwistyourthinkinguntilyoulooktohimforguidanceoneverything。Oncethathappens，manipulatorscanmakeyoubasicallydowhatevertheywantyoutobecauseyounowtrustthemmorethanyoutrustyourself。
　　4。Hemakesyouresponsibleforhisemotions。
　　Manipulatorsareironicinthesensethattheyspendquiteabitoftimemakingyoufeelasifyoucan’tthinkforyourselfbutthenturnaroundandmakeyouresponsibleforalloftheiremotions。Iftheyfeelsad，it’sprobablybecauseyoumadethemfeelthatway。Ifthey’reangry，well，youhadbettercheckyourselfbecauseyouobviouslydidsomethingwrong。
　　Forasmuchastheytakeawayfromyouandforasmuchastheymakeyoubelievethatyou’retotallyincapableofcontrollingyourownlife，theyexpectyoutoberesponsibleforhowtheyfeel。INSANE。
　　5。Hemakesyoubelievethatyouwantwhathewants。
　　Weallstartoutrelationshipswithrequirementsanddealbreakersbutit’snatural，asyoustarttoblendtwolives，thatcompromisesaremade。What’sNOTnormal：Whenyouhavetocompletelysetasidewhatyouwantandneedinanefforttoappeaseyourpartner。Ifyoustarttorealizeyourpartner’sneedsarebeingmetfarmoreoftenthanyoursare，youmightbemarriedtoamanipulator。
　　Areyougivingintowhathewantsoutoffeelingsofguiltorbecausehehasmadeyoufeelresponsibleforthewayhefeels？HaveyougivenupwhatYOUwantbecausehe’smadeyoubelievethatyoushouldwantsomethingelse？Ifyouhaveanswered“yes”toanyofthosequestions，youmightwanttoreconsidertherelationship。