10ReasonsWhyPeopleWhoStopSeeki

　　标题：10ReasonsWhyPeopleWhoStopSeekingApprovalAreHappierSouls
　　source：lifehackbyVanessaJaneC
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　　Basically，fromthetimeofourbirthweareconstantlysentthemessagethatwhatothersthinkofusmatters。Itisn’tlongbeforewerealizehowwebehave，howwelook，whatwesay，andthechoiceswemakecandrawtheapprovalordisapprovalofothers。Insociety，certainbehaviorsareobviouslyneededinordertoshowrespectandconsiderationforothers。However，theproblemoccurswhenwerequireotherstoapproveofusinordertovalidatehowwefeelaboutourselves。
　　AccordingtoresearchreportedinTimemagazine，thepartofthebrainassociatedwithrewardisactivatedwhenwereceiveapproval，moresoinsomepeoplethanothers。Therefore，receivingapprovalcanmakeusfeelbetter，atleasttemporarily。However，aconstantobsessionwithseekingitcertainlydoesnot。Somepeoplehavelearnedtostopseekingapprovalandfoundthatthisbringsitsownrewards。
　　1。Theyknowthatitisn’tsomeoneelse’sresponsibilitytomakethemhappy
　　Byconstantlyseekingapprovalfromothers，youareeffectivelyhandingovertheresponsibilityforcontrollingyourhappinesstothem。It’snottheirjob。Takeitback。
　　2。Theylovethefreedomtheyfeelwhentheystopworrying
　　Gettingridofthatneedforapprovalisveryfreeing。Younolongerhavethoseimaginaryboundariesaroundyoudictatinghowyoushouldliveyourlife。
　　3。They’vediscoveredthattryingtoseekapprovalfromotherstakestimeandenergy
　　Thinkingaboutwhateveryoneelse’sopinionmightbeofyou，andworkingouthowyoumightbestreceivefavorableresponsesfromthemisdraining。Considerhowmuchmoretimeandenergyyouwouldhaveifyouonlyworriedaboutpleasingyourself。
　　4。Theyrefusetokeepsettingthemselvesupfordisappointment
　　Aimingtogetapprovalfromotherstakesacertainamountofguesswork。Youcan’tknowforsurewhatotherswillthink，youcanonlyspeculate。Thismeansyoucanoftengetitwrongandendupdisappointedbytheirreaction。
　　5。Theyunderstandthateveryonewillviewthemdifferently
　　Whenwetalkaboutothers，wearereferringtoawholerangeofpeoplewithdifferinglikes，dislikes，andopinions。Everythingwedocouldbeviewedincontrastingwaysbydifferentpeople。Wecan’tpossiblypleasethemall。
　　6。Theyknowthateveryoneelseistoobusyseekingtheirownapprovaltonotice
　　Seekingapprovalfromothersiswidespread，sowhileyou’reworryingabouthowyouwillbejudgedbypeople，thosepeoplearebusyworryingabouthowtheywillbejudgedtooandmaynotevennoticeyourefforts。
　　7。Theyrealizetheydeservetofocusontheirownneeds
　　Whoaretheseotherpeoplethatthinktheyknowhowyoushouldrunyourlifebetterthanyoudo？Theydon’texist。Onlyyouknowwhatyoureallywantandneed。Youdeservetoreceiveyourfocusandattentioninmeetingthose。
　　8。Theiranxietydecreases
　　AccordingtotheSocialAnxietyInstitute，around7oftheUSpopulationaresufferingfromSocialAnxietyatanyonetime。Oneofthekeyaspectsofthisisafearofbeingjudgednegatively。Ifyoufindyouranxietyaboutwhatothersthinkofyoufeelsoutofcontrol，there’sachanceyoucouldbesufferingfromSocialAnxietyandmightneedtoseekhelp。However，eventhoseofuswithouttheconditioncanexperiencesymptomsofanxietyifwe’recontinuallyworryingabouthowtogaintheapprovalofothers。
　　9。Theygrowinconfidence
　　Abigpartofconfidenceisbeingcomforwithyourself。It’sprettyhardtofeelcomforwithyourselfifyoulettheopinionsofothersdefineyou。
　　10。They’vediscoveredthatthelesstheyworryaboutseekingapprovalthemorelikelytheyaretogetit
　　Itissomewhatironic，butwhenyoustopseekingapproval，youaremorelikelytoreceiveit。Beingconfidentandcomforwithyourselfisanattractivequality。Bybecomingselfassured，ratherthanselfobsessed，youwillmorelikelygaintheapprovalthatyounolongercrave。