You’reMorePersuasiveThanYouThi

　　source：MelissaDahl
　　欲翻译的小伙伴，可评论领稿，并把已完成的译文贴在评论处或发在自己的心理圈内。请领稿的小伙伴，尽量在一个星期内完成翻译，谢谢！！
　　Whenyouthinkofpeoplewhoarereallygoodatgettingtheirway，particularlyatwork，visionsofpowerfulordownrightmanipulativeindividualslikelycometomind：thesuckups，thebrownnosers，thebullies。Ontheotherhand，chancesarehighthatapersonyoudonotpictureisyourself。Mostpeopletendtounderestimatetheirownabilitytogetotherpeopletodowhattheyask，tsomespecialskillmostpeoplearealreadymorepersuasivethantheybelievethemselvestobe。
　　ResearchbyCornellpsychologistVanessaK。Bohnshasconsistentlyfoundthatpeopledoubttheirabilitytogetotherstocomplywitheventhesimplestrequests。InonestudyBohnspublishedin2008incollaborationwithherfelloworganizationalpsychologistFrancisJ。Flynn，forexample，undergraduatesatColumbiaUdhavetoaskbeforeoneofthemagreedtocarryoutasmalltask，suchaslendingthemacellphoneorfillingoutasurvey。ThenBohnsandFlynnpushedtheirstudyparticipantsoutofthelabandontocampustoseehowaccuratetheirpredictionsturnedouttobe。
　　Inreality，asBohnsrecountsinarecentpieceforHarvardBusinessReview，thestrangerswerealmosttwiceaslikelytoagreetotherequestthanthestudentsexpected。Theyguessed，forexample，inreality，onaverage，thesixthpersonsaidyes。Tinpractice，itonlytookfourasksonaveragetogetayes。
　　Initially，BohnsandFlynnwereinterestedinthislineofresearchbecauseitseemedtothemtobeanexampleofhowweunderestimateothers，tknowforhelp。Butlately，vestartedlookingatthisinanotherway，Bohnstoldmeinanemail。Msanexampleofhowweunderestimateourowninfluenceoverotherpeople。InherHBRpiece，Bohnsnotesanexampleofhowthiscanplayoutintheworkplace，citingaNewYorkUniversitysurveyof40fulltimeemployeesatwhitecollarcompanies，mostlyinfinance。Themajorityoftheemployeessurveyedconfidedthattheyhadconcernsaboutethicsorbasicworkflowissuesattheirrespectivefirms，butmostofthemalsosaidthattheykeptthosethoughtstothemselvesandthereasonmanyofthemgavefornotspeakingupwasthattheydoubtedtheirwordswouldchangeanything。
　　Butwhydoweunderestimateourabilitytoinfluencepeople，ortogetthemtodowhatwewantthemtodo？Isinmanywaysasurprisingphenomenon，becausemuchofthepsychologicalresearchshowsthatpeopletendtooverestimatetheirowntalentandabilities。BohnsandFlynnacknowledgethisina2013sselfcenteredness，oregotism，failureofperspective。
　　Pspointofview，inotherwords。Wretryingtogetsomeonetodosomethingforyou，youlikelypayalotofattentiontowhatitwillcostthepersontosayyes。Butmostpeoplealsofailtoacknowledgethepotentialcostofsayingno。Noonewantstorejectothers，particularlynotfacetoface，BohnsandFlynnwrite。Youmayfeelawkwardaskingforafavor，imaginingthattheotherpersonwillrefuse，butthepersonbeingaskedislikelyalsoimaginingthescenarioinwhichherefuses。Inmanycases，peoplearemotivatedtocomplywitharequestforhelpinordertoavoidthefeelingsofembarrassmentthatmightbeinducedbynoncompliance，theywrite。Inplainerterms：Ptwanttolookbad。
　　Thatsaid，therearesomewaystophraseyourrequestthataremorelikelytoworkthanothers。Nosurprise，adirectquestionworksbetterthantiptoeingaroundthesubject。Inthatsame2008studywiththeColumbiaundergrads，BohnsandFlynnaskedthestudentstotrytogetpassersbytofilloutaquestionnaire，eitherindirectly（byhandingthemaflyer）ordirectly（bysimplyasking）。Thestrangersweremuchmorelikelytofilloutthequestionnairewhenaskeddirectlythanwhenhandedtheflyer。Thereallifelesson，then，isthatyoucanhintaroundatwhatyouwantallyoulike，dbemuchbetterservedifyoujustaskedplainly。
　　Otherresearchinthisareahasshownthatpeoplearemorelikelytocomplywitharequestifyougivethemareason，evenifthatreasoniskindofdumb。Atgetwhatyouwant，tgiveuptryagain。Bvesaidnoonce，perhapsbecausetheyfeelguiltyovertheinitialrefusal。
　　Butthewordsyouusewhenyouaskmatter，too。Inanotherexperimentinthat2008study，somestudentsweretoldtoframetheirquestionstraightforwardly：Wouldyoufilloutaquestionnaire？Othersweretoldtofirstask，Canyoudomeafavor？andthenaskthatsamequestion。Inthestraightforwardcondition，57comparethatto84percentofthoseinthefavorcondition。Yourmomwasright：Peoplearehappiertodowhatyouwantthemtoifyouasknicely。Butfirst，youhavetoask。