4ScienceBasedStrategiesforGett

　　source：KellyMcGonigalPh。D。onFeb10，2012TheScienceofWillpower
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　　WhyYreAddictedtoYourEx
　　Whyisitsohardtoletgoofanex？Evenwhenarelationshipishistory，theconnectionyousharedisnoteasilyerasedfrommindorbody（oh，yes，chemistrycanoutlastcommitment）。Anythingthatremindsyouofyourexcanbringbackafloodoffeelings。Bmemory。Yeuphoricrecall，rememberingonlythehighsandnoneofthelows。Eveniftherelationshipwasadisaster，youmaynotwanttobelievethatyouwastedyourtimeandheartonajerk。Smakeitwork，andhopethingswillchange。Youmightevenbetryingtoavoidfutureregret。Whatifthisrelationshipwasasgoodasitgets，andyouneverfindanyoneelse？
　　Likeanydifficultchange，andadashofselfcompassion。Herearefourtipsformovingon，basedonlatestresearchonthescienceofwillpower：
　　FindaRoleModel。
　　Swillpowerfrompeopleweadmire，andstrengthenourresolvejustbybringingthemtomind。Looktoyourownlife，popculture，rolemodel。Wsyourfavoriteexampleofastrongwomanwhokickedamantothecurb，andisdoingjustfineonherown（orontherebound）？Thinkofyourselfasfollowinginherfootsteps，Facebook。
　　IWIsEasierWhenYouHaveaNIWant。
　　Taddiction。TtorderanewcrushfromZappos。Sohowdoyoureplacethelongingforanexwithoutjumpingintoanewrelationship？Fdleftbehind，likecooking，bellydancing，orblogging。Wfeelingcomesup，getbusyonyourgoalinsteadoffantasizingaboutgettingbackwithyourex。
　　TakeCareofYourself。
　　SistheNo。1triggerforanyaddiction，includingoldflames。Feelingoverwhelmed，exhausted，oranxioustriggersaphysiologicalneedtoconnect，contactcomfort。Sfocusonpotentialreward，andignorepotentialrisk。Srelikelytoimaginethewarmembraceofaromanticreunion，orregretyoufeltafterthelasthookup。Preemptstressinducedlongingbytreatingyourselftosomeseriousselfcare：Snight，pulloutthatyogaDVD，getamanicureandmassage，ordowhatevercalmsyournervesandliftyourspirits。
　　BewaretheWhiteBear。
　　Tsoneguaranteedwaytomakesureyouneverforgetyourex：Trytopushhimoutofyourmindcompletely。PWhiteBearEffect。Ifyoutrynottothinkaboutawhitebear，onewillassuredlypopintoyourmind。Thisistrueforallkindsoftemptations。Dieterswhotrynottothinkaboutchocolatebecomeobsessedwithit（andeatmoreofit）。Ssmokingmore。Onestudyevenfoundthatifyoutrynottothinkaboutanoldflame，abouthimorher。Sowhenanexcomestomind，panic，ttakeitassomekindofsign。Rsanex，thenputyourattentionbackonsomeoneyoureallycareaboutyou。